Τα τελευταία 9 χρόνια έχω διαβάσει όσα βιβλία δε διάβασα τα πρώτα 22 χρόνια της ζωής μου. Τα περισσότερα είναι κυρίως βιβλία αυτοβελτίωσης, προσωπικής ανάπτυξης, ανάπτυξης δεξιοτήτων σε σχέση με πωλήσεις και μάρκετινγκ καθώς και για σχέσεις.
Η ανάγνωση όλων αυτών των βιβλίων με έχει βοηθήσει να γίνω καλύτερος στη δουλειά μου, στις σχέσεις μου με τις φίλους, τους συνεργάτες και την οικογένειά μου, αλλά κυρίως με βοήθησαν να κοιτάξω προς τα "μέσα" και να γνωρίσω καλύτερα τον εαυτό μου.
Πριν λίγες ημέρες τελείωσα την ανάγνωση του βιβλίου "The Slight Edge" (σσ το Μικρό Προβάδισμα) του Jeff Olson, το οποίο ουσιαστικά παίρνει όλα αυτά που έχω μάθει και μου δείχνει πως να τα βάλω σε ένα καθημερινό πλάνο.
Η φιλοσοφία από το "Μικρό Προβάδισμα" είναι ότι κάποιος φτάνει στην επιτυχία ή στην αποτυχία όχι από ένα κατακλυσμικό γεγονός που συνέβη μία μέρα, αλλά, είτε από μικρές καθημερινές πειθαρχίες (για την επιτυχία) είτε από κάποιες λάθος επιλογές που έχουν γίνει με την πάροδο του χρονου (για την αποτυχία).
Αυτά που χρειάζεται να κάνει κάποιος για να πετύχει (και όπου λέω επιτυχία εννοώ στους τομείς της υγείας, προσωπική ανάπτυξης, σχέσεων, οικονομικών και της ζωής γενικότερα), είναι απλά, εύκολα πράγματα που είναι εύκολα να γίνουν.
Τότε αν είναι έτσι, γιατί δεν είναι όλοι πετυχημένοι;
Και η απάντηση είναι "Γιατί είναι εύκολο και να ΜΗ γίνουν".
Να δώσω ένα παράδειγμα: Για να έχω υγιή δόντια, συνήθως αρκεί να τα πλένω 2-3 φορές την ημέρα. Για να μην έχω υγιή δόντια συνήθως αρκεί να ΜΗ τα πλένω κάθε μέρα. Το να πλένω τα δόντια μου είναι κάτι που ΜΠΟΡΩ να το κάνω και είναι κάτι ΕΥΚΟΛΟ να το κάνω. Είναι όμως εύκολο και να ΜΗ το κάνω.
Τώρα, αν πλύνω σήμερα τα δόντια μου, σημαίνει ότι θα είναι υγιή; Όχι απαραίτητα. Αν ΔΕ τα πλύνω σήμερα, σημαίνει ότι έχουν χαλάσει; Όχι φυσικά. Τι θα συμβεί αν τα πλένω κάθε μέρα για μία εβδομάδα; Θα είναι υγιή; Όχι. Αν δε τα πλύνω για μία εβδομάδα, θα έχουν χαλάσει; Όχι. Αν όμως συνεχίσω την πειθαρχεία του να τα πλένω κάθε μέρα, μετά από 1, 3 ή 5 χρόνια θα δω τα αποτελέσματα ενός υγιούς χαμόγελου. Αν όμως αμελώ να κάνω αυτή τη συνήθεια κάθε μέρα, τότε μετά από 1, 3 ή 5 χρόνια είναι πιθανόν να δω τις επιπτώσεις με την επίσκεψη στον οδοντίατρο.
Αυτό που χρειάζεται να κατανοήσουμε είναι ότι κάθε μέρα, κάθε στιγμή, ΕΜΕΙΣ έχουμε την επιλογή. Μπορούμε είτε να το κάνουμε είτε να ΜΗ το κάνουμε. Απλά να έχουμε στο μυαλό μας ότι οτιδήποτε κάνουμε (ή δεν κάνουμε) μας οδηγεί σε ένα αποτέλεσμα. Το "κακό" είναι ότι όταν αρχίσει να φαίνεται το αποτέλεσμα είναι πλέον πολύ αργά. Γιατί αν εγώ έχω χαλασμένα δόντια, δεν οφείλεται στο ότι δεν τα έπλυνα χθες αλλά στο ότι αμελούσα να τα πλύνω τα τελευταία 3 χρόνια.
Φυσικά, αυτό με τα δόντια είναι ένα απλό παράδειγμα και αυτή η φιλοσοφία ισχύει για τους 5 βασικούς τομείς της ζωής μας που είναι η Υγεία, η Προσωπική Ανάπτυξη, οι Σχέσεις, τα Οικονομικά και η Ζωή μας γενικά.
Αν διαβάζετε βιβλία στα αγγλικά σας συνιστώ ανεπιφύλακτα, να το διαβάσετε και να αρχίσετε να εφαρμόζετε τη φιλοσοφία από το Μικρό Προβάδισμα προς όφελός σας, γιατί είτε το θέλετε είτε όχι, το μικρό προβάδισμα δουλεύει - είτε προς όφελός σας είτε εναντίον σας.
Θοδωρής Αραμπατζής
Ευχαριστούμε πολύ, Θεόδωρε, για την ανάρτηση! Πραγματικά με έκανε να σκεφτώ τα πράγματα από μια άλλη οπτική γωνία. Απόφασισα ότι στο εξής θα κοπιάζω καθημερινά για... ένα αστραφτερό χαμόγελο!Ευχαριστώ και πάλι!
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήΧαίρομαι που σου άρεσε και το "αστραφτερό χαμόγελο" νομίζω είναι μία καλή αρχή στις καθημερινές πειθαρχίες :-D
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήΚι εγώ ευχαριστώ για την ευκαιρία να γράψω στο blog σας
Ας χαμογελάσουμε λοιπόν στην επιτυχία ή, για να το πω καλύτερα, στη πιθανότητα μιας καλύτερης ζωής! Ευχαριστούμε για την ιδέα!
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήΜια απορια -
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήΓια δεκαετιες τωρα πλυνω τα δοντια μου εξωνυχιστικα τουλαχιστον δυο φορες την ημερα και με ενα ποτιρι τσιπουρο πριν το τελευταιο καθαρισμα για μια προ-απολυμανση. Ομως χθες που πηγα στην οδοντoιατρινα μου λεει οτι εχω τοσο πολυ σαπιλα μεσα στο στωμα μου που δεν ξερει που να πρωτο τρυπησει.
Τι συμβερασμα να βγαλω?
@Torn χεχεχε σόρυ που γελάω αλλά μου φάνηκε αστείο :-D
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήΤο συμπέρασμα που μπορείς να βγάλεις είναι ότι όντως σε βοήθησε το πλύσιμο - αν δεν τα έπλενες πιθανόν θα πήγαινες πολύ νωρίτερα :-)
σσ. το οδοντικό νήμα βοηθάει εξίσου(αν όχι περισσότερο) στην υγιεινή του στόματος)
(FYI το βιβλίο δεν αναφέρεται στην υγιεινή του στόματος - αλλά στις καθημερινές απλές συνήθειες)
Πολύ καλή απάντηση, Θοδωρή! :-)
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήLet me switch to English - it's easier. Joking aside, taking things one step and one day at a time is definitely going to help people achieve their goals. If Christina wants to cycle all the way around Crete, she is more likely to succeed if she focuses on the next village, and every day finds the strength to make it to the next village without thinking too much about the huge distance between where she is now and the final goal. The problem for me is that books promoting this kind of wisdom have become an industry that pedals a myth and oils the treadmill that the rats are running on. The myth: You say that your slight edge is the reason why you have become the best in your field, implying that if we follow the same method we too can be the best in our fields. But we can't all be the best in our fields. If we are all competing for the top, the vast majority of us are going to find that we end up losing, and the real challenge will be finding a way of coping with our relative mediocrity. Now, I imagine that self-help books pedalling the myth that we can all be winners sell, whereas the more useful books (useful for the losing majority), probably don't quite sell as well (unless perhaps they can promise salvation in the μετα-θανατη ζωη). A second point: The insistence that it is up to ME to make the choice to push on every day to get that slight edge over my competitors is of course something that the winners have to realise. A one-sided emphasis on this idea of responsibility, though, ends up spreading dissatisfaction and self-doubt. We - the losers - end up blaming ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves even in regard to a whole stack of things that we were never in a position to control or affect. My teeth, for instance. I inherited unusually soft teeth from my Mum. As far as dentistry is concerned my Dad had the slight edge, but he was born with teeth as hard as marble. My teeth now are ruined. It is no good tossing and turning in bed at night blaming myself for not flossing. In any case, even the best teeth will go bad sooner or later. We need to find a way of living with this and with all the other disappointing developments (like mortality) that we have no control over. But, again, I imagine it would be harder to sell a book with a title like: "Coping With Finitude" or (to use a shocking phrase from Samuel Beckett) "Born Astride the Grave".
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήHello Michael! You could have said straight away that it was you; your comments are always more than welcome! I am so happy that you are reading our blog in Greek and also leaving comments in that language! You are right in expressing all these doubts about such philosophies on life and the way you do it is admirable.
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήThe first part of your comment I totally loved:
The myth: You say that your slight edge is the reason why you have become the best in your field, implying that if we follow the same method we too can be the best in our fields. But we can't all be the best in our fields. If we are all competing for the top, the vast majority of us are going to find that we end up losing, and the real challenge will be finding a way of coping with our relative mediocrity.
The second one:
We need to find a way of living with this and with all the other disappointing developments (like mortality) that we have no control over. But, again, I imagine it would be harder to sell a book with a title like: "Coping With Finitude" or (to use a shocking phrase from Samuel Beckett) "Born Astride the Grave".
Yes, we should all try to accept ourselves with all our flaws and not try to perfect an imperfect nature; this is what may have caused the depression a lot of people are experiencing.
However, a conclusion that could be drawn from Thodoris' post is that we could at least try to get a little better in what we do, in what we are. Besides, this is the aim of most religions on this Earth: to urge the people to better themselves morally and, finally, make the transcendence. (And this is not coming from a religious person!)
What I am saying is that, by discovering and accepting what we are, we can detect our strong points and, based on them, attempt to improve, just as much as we can, without any stress being involved. I know that all this may sound ideal, but it is feasible. This is what I am trying to do with myself, too: to get better, one bit at a time.
We don't have to reach the absolute top necessarily; one peek at the magnificent view from a relatively high altitude should be enough!
Christina, I agree with you, and I imagine you and Thodoris cheerfully pushing on up the hillside, then rising above the treeline and enjoying the magnificent views. The advice is sensible. I guess I have followed it myself, and although I have never ventured into the Himalayas I have made my own little ascent of Μυτικας (Olympus) following the less well-trodden path up Ξερολακι. My gripe is not with how sensible the advice is. My unease concerns how this advice (and my own behaviour, for that matter) fit into a bigger picture that (when I am not striving for my own slight edge) I find repugnant.
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήOur epoch is out of balance in a number of ways. The imbalance between competition and cooperation is one example. There is already far too much emphasis on competition at the expense of the values of cooperation, fraternity, togetherness, harmony and even happiness - a relaxed joi de vivre of the valleys.
Again, on a personal level I am sure that in your own life you have got the balance right, but on a cultural level my feeling is that things are seriously out of joint. Jeff Olsen is preaching to the converted. Almost all of us are now striving to have a slight edge over the rest. I think of a woman (not you) on a treadmill in front of the TV jogging hard while images of the αγανακτισμενους flicker on the screen. No time and no inclination to go out and join the joyous tide - no, because she must keep in shape and and strive to carry on looking younger than her years and younger than her συνομηλικους.
Everywhere (apart from the καπη and the πλατειες at the moment) the message has been going out for a long time that we must compete. We must compete against each other, we must compete with the Bulgarians, the Germans, the Turks and the Chinese. Although it doesn't have to be this way, we are insisting as a society that life must be more (not less) of a struggle to survive. All the Jeff Olsens are taking their place in that movement (ψευτοχαρουμενοι, ισως, αντι αγανακτισμενοι), lending support to it and profiting from it.
Of more concern at the moment is not the μικρο προβαδισμα but the μεγαλο ξεπουλημα that is only just beginning here in Greece. That will make it much, much harder in the future to promote a society and a culture in which values like fraternity and harmony count for anything at all. The Jeff Olsens, though, will be well-placed to cash in.
Well, I think we totally agree here! Concern about what happens or will happen in Greece on a social or financial level is what should occupy our thoughts for the time being.
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήI try to be an optimist, though, without ever losing hope that one day humanity will find its way towards achieving a balance between competitiveness, profit, pre-eminence and morality.
Till then, we need to cut down on using the treadmill and start walking at the main squares! Thanks Michael for always providing food for thought in such a polite manner!
@Torn
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήDear Torn :-) following is my answer to your comment. My english is not the best so forgive any mistakes or bad ways of expressing my thoughts. Also, everything I write comes with love, a positive intention and not mean to be "smart" or mean.
So here it goes...
You say:
"The problem for me is that books promoting this kind of wisdom have become an industry that pedals a myth and oils the treadmill that the rats are running on."
wow, that is a huge generalization. I don't know if you read this kind of books but for me personally, these kind of books have helped me tremendously in all areas of my life. Personal, professional, health etc.
You say:
"The myth: You say that your slight edge is the reason why you have become the best in your field"
I don't say that it's the reason I have become the best in my field. I say that it has helped me become "better" in my career, family, health etc and I wasn't talking about the slight edge in particular but about self help books in general.
What I am also saying is that the things I did(and do) to become better (or worse) are "slight edge" things.
"…Implying that if we follow the same method we too can be the best in our fields. But we can't all be the best in our fields. If we are all competing for the top, the vast majority of us are going to find that we end up losing, and the real challenge will be finding a way of coping with our relative mediocrity. Now, I imagine that self-help books pedalling the myth that we can all be winners sell, whereas the more useful books (useful for the losing majority), probably don't quite sell as well (unless perhaps they can promise salvation in the μετα-θανατη ζωη)."
Even though this is way off topic, I will answer you that the book says that even though the things you need to do to become "the best" in your field are easy to do, and anyone can do them, most people aren't doing them, and won't do them. Why? Because they are also easy NOT to do. And if they don't do them, the consequences won't be dramatic / immediate. So that is the reason that only the 5% is and will be successful. This not good nor bad - it's just the way it is.
...continued
...
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφή"A second point: The insistence that it is up to ME to make the choice to push on every day to get that slight edge over my competitors is of course something that the winners have to realise."
Either you haven't fully read/understood my post or haven't read the book (or both). There is nowhere that I mention "getting that slight edge over someone else (competitors)"
The slight edge is not about others - it's about us. I never compete with others and don't intent to.
"A one-sided emphasis on this idea of responsibility, though, ends up spreading dissatisfaction and self-doubt. We - the losers - end up blaming ourselves and feeling bad about ourselves even in regard to a whole stack of things that we were never in a position to control or affect. My teeth, for instance. I inherited unusually soft teeth from my Mum. As far as dentistry is concerned my Dad had the slight edge, but he was born with teeth as hard as marble. My teeth now are ruined. It is no good tossing and turning in bed at night blaming myself for not flossing. In any case, even the best teeth will go bad sooner or later. We need to find a way of living with this and with all the other disappointing developments (like mortality) that we have no control over. But, again, I imagine it would be harder to sell a book with a title like: "Coping With Finitude" or (to use a shocking phrase from Samuel Beckett) "Born Astride the Grave"."
You are using the word "blame" a lot. I never used or use this word. Blaming doesn't serve me or anyone else.
The things you can't control - you can't control (like genetics, death etc). But what you CAN control and affect, are you? This is the point. I was talking with a friend and she was telling me that her 6 years old daughter is as stubborn as she is, and she continued by blaming her DNA. What she couldn't see is that here daughter didn't got her stubbornness from her DNA but from what she saw her mother do. I am not going to comment about your teeth because you are doing selective reading. The point is not the teeth - it's the habits. It's not "being the best" - it's getting better.
Test question: "Have you read the book?"
Love and piece!
Theodore
PS: I hope I haven't created any enemies :P
Wow, what an answer Thodori, which is written in English as well! The conversation is getting more and more interesting, I can assure you! :)
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήAs I think my opinion lies somewhere between what you two say, I have noticed that you agree on certain things without having realized it yet! For example, you both passionately insist that we should all opt to improve OURSELVES as much we can, without paying so much attention to competition. As Thodoris has excellently put it: It's not "being the best" - it's getting better.
Again, Thodoris is right to say that by taking some easy steps we can better our lives and those around us, in certain aspects, but most of us choose (consciously or not) not to do so. 'This not good nor bad - it's just the way it is', as he says.
In a nutshell, I reckon the two views you have expressed can be reconciled and joined into one statement: Nothing is irreversible; anything and anyone can change towards the better as long as there is the appropriate will, courage and... time!
(Please correct me if I am wrong!)
First half of the reply:
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήThodoris, first let me assure you that there is no question here of creating enemies or even of creating bad feelings – that would imply that I am taking things personally, which is certainly not the case. So no worries there.
Forgive me if I sidestep the comments you make. Part of the reason is that if I take your points one by one there is very little I find to disagree with (the exception being what you say about not being interested in competition – you might not be, but in that case you should drop the term “slight edge” because the term itself implies a context of competition – but I don’t want to make a fuss about that because I see no reason to be against competiton in some general abstract sort of way, although I think there are reasons for saying something like “This book is the best in its field,” instead of “I am the best author in my field”).
No, there is very, very little that I disagree with. In a sense, it is all good advice. As I tried to make clear (but obviously failed) my unease is not with the utility of the advice but with the way that what you say and the book (as I imagine it – because I haven’t read it) fits into a wider culture. Of course, what that culture is exactly is open to interpretation, and interpreting it requires some framework. I confess that I take my framework from some of the early works of the Frankfurt School (especially Adorno and Horkheimer’s “The Dialectic of the Enlightenment”).
People looking at European history from this particular neck of the intellectual woods see – since 1637 or so – a slow rise of what is called instrumental reason – the reason used most obviously in the realms of science, technology, personal and social planning to turn things (nature) to advantage in the most efficient and effective way possible. Reason becomes an instrument of control and knowledge becomes predominantly technical – knowing how to manipulate and turn to advantage.
continued…
This is the second part of Torn's reply; I am posting it not as the author of it, but as the administrator of the blog trying to fix some 'comment' problems! So here we are:
ΑπάντησηΔιαγραφήNow no one wants to say that instrumental reason is necessarily bad. No, control, manipulation, technique and utility can all be very important. The problem is when society as a whole has (almost) nothing but instrumental reason. We, as a society, control, manipulate and plan, but to what end? Domination, control, efficiency, growth, etc, which once made sense only as means, become our only ends. Then we find ourselves in a social system which (to some of us) seems to be ultimately mindless because there is no intelligent debate about where all this technique is heading. The most obvious example is the rise of economics with the attendant idea that society is first and foremost an economy and that the economy can be understood scientifically and technocrats can advise governments how to keep the economy growing, and so the debate about the future for society is too often reduced to differences of opinion about the numbers associated with the Gross Domestic Product. Back in the 17th, 18th and 19th centuries dreams of an utterly different and better society made possible by industrialisation still made some sense. Not now though. Now all that seems like idle utopianism.
In a nutshell, that is my background and that should help explain my misgivings about the self-help books. They are books – I presume – written to help me succeed, to get an edge over the others, to increase my chances of being in the top 5%. Of course, to succeed you have to play the game. And we all have to play the game in one way or another simply to get by. And these books will doubtless help us take full advantage of the opportunities before us. They will help us sort things out, rise up and fit in. But if the game being played (when we step way back and take a long look at it) ultimately doesn’t make sense, what then? Might all those books be helping to perpetuate something that deserves to be criticised?
I hesitate to paste this into the comment box because I know that it appeals to a shared sense of what ultimately matters and what doesn’t, and I know full well that the sense isn’t actually shared.
To close, let me mention something you might think irrelevant. I am rereading “The Little Prince”. I am sure it is not the last time that I will reread it, partly because it is a book that deals so movingly with what ultimately matters. Saint-Exupery says the adults have forgotten. I think they have (or at least the system has), and I think that in addition to the books helping us improve our technique there needs to be more books, more voices, that help us undo that forgetfulness and help loosen up society so that those voices can help us collectively create something better.